I awoke today surprised...I'd gone to sleep thinking I would die of heartbreak.
But it didn't happen.
The pill I took---not strong enough to kill me,
just kept me awake looking for answers.
In fact, besides your smiling face, I woke to Dread beside me.
Woe, for having to learn to live without you.
Pain---you say you love somebody else!
(I secretly hope it doesn't work out).
I gather the evidence of your existence...
For a moment ( moment of strength, perhaps) it felt good to pack your things,
memory filled things....items you, we had worn...
Everything about our love could fit into a kitchen sized trash liner.
I snatched and packed even the most mundane things: a movie stub from a movie we really liked,
a poem you had written for me (one time it was sincere but has lost all meaning),
a stick from a sucker I nabbed for you while you waited patiently for me at the bank.
You should get an acting prize---you survived all my sweet sentiments during the planning.
It must have killed your soul at times, knowing you were planning my demise!
Especially those last three days---I'd been so good to you.
Just Thursday night it took me three hours to prepare dinner..you snuggled with me under an almost full moon. "Full Moon soon," I had mumbled "...watch out for the Crazies soon."
Little did I guess it would be you, waiting in the wings to stab me, cut my heart from my chest!
Before you drove off yesterday into my memory, I caught a hint.
I can be smart, on occasion: you took my favorite hat---one of your hats---back.
"...I want to wear it," you said.
Little signs fall in line, and
sense comes to the Once Dumbed By Love.
You planned my exit, when all I could see to plan were romantic things.
I feel the Fool, a Tool,
something raw, used, and left dull
with a broken blade.
At least you got your hat back.
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