A U.S. Navy drone-to-satellite photo has captured the embattled Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak sitting atop the world's largest hippie throne.
Hosni Mubarak has ruled Egypt as a brutal dictator for 30 years, barring basic rights like freedom of speech/assembly and regularly employing torture to suppress political opposition.
"No one has seen him since the crisis began," said a supposed close aid, who wished to remain anonymous so his hands would remain attached.
"One minute I was lying down in front him, acting as a Human Carpet, just like any other day around the Heliopolis Palace. The Great One paused on my kidneys and then walked over me and tried to squash my head like a Tin Shawki," (The Tin Shawki is an Egyptian fruit full of seeds, tasting like melon).
Mubarak lives in a former hotel in the suburb of Heliopolis, northeast of central Cairo.
The luxurious hotel was originally built as the grand Heliopolis Palace Hotel in 1910. The hotel closed in the 1960s and was used by various government departments for years.
It was not until the 1980s, after the hotel underwent extensive renovations, that it became the official residence and headquarters for Mubarak's new administration, which includes "The Office of Cartoons" , "The Office of the Funny Newspapers" and "Office of Things People can Do For the Supreme Omnipotent Ruler, Instead Of Being Forced to Build Him a Giant Pyramid To The Sky".
The drone caught images of Mubarak sitting atop the hippie-styled throne while an aid held a laptop computer while the centuries-old ruler played Spider, (a form of Solitaire for married folk hiding porn addiction).
Mubarak has outlawed the Internet in his country, "...which was a stupid move because now everyone has nothing to stay home-for," said one U.S. general, who wished to remain anonymous so the U.S. President didn't "...roll with his head."
The comments about this crisis continue to flood the Internet and television media. People outside the country say "...he's a dictator, an asshole."
Meanwhile, people living around the Egyptian military, who seem to have sided with the President, say "...he's a dictator, an asshole."
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